You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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