I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
