Cold hands, warm shart.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
