I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize