this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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