Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
