thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
