Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
