I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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