Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
