Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
