one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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