but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
