tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
