I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
