I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
