so explain again why im purple
no
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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