It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
