I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
he was CRYING into my vagina
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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