Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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