Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
