My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
