I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize