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____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
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