A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
did i just pee glitter
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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