Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
high people should be assigned attendants
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Randomize
