does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
