I'm an idiot
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
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You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
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I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.