this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
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Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
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My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.