Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
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He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
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Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"