am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
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You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
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Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.