Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
How many fucks given?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.