cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences In Dating Men And Women
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.