I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it