he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.