I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.