I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.