somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face