You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize