Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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