I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize