i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize