i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
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I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
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I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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