"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
me + whiskey = a bad person
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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