a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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