Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
