When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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