Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
