I want to make a zoo with you.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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