And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
