I'm eating all of the evidence.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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