By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
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