i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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