dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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