he was CRYING into my vagina
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
