my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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