he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I think I just sharted jello shots
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
