Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
