i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize