brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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