this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We had sex on a dog bed..
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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