When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
