All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
