Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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