So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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