all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I smell stomach acid.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
